Last night after our bi-weekly Dungeons & Dragons session at my Brothers' place, my good friend Vince and I went out for a couple of pints at the local pub. We always have 'important talks' over beer, and this was no exception. But this time, Vince was telling me he thought I should quit drinking. Hypocritical bastard.
Apparently my Brother discussed this with him recently, and they agreed to be concerned about me. It's not that I have a drinking 'problem', and it's not that my behaviour is a concern when I imbibe... but alcohol is a depressant (one that counteracts my medication, actually), and they think I ought to be less cavalier about the impact on my health. My Brother is confident discussing this behind my back because he knows full well I agree.
I've been struggling with the issues of drinking and smoking for a couple of years now, and have made efforts to quit cold turkey, with mixed results. Part of my poor success rate is because it's fucking hard to change old habits, especially ones connected to happy, fun memories, but I think something deeper is going on. I think my instinct to take better care of myself is doing battle with the freedom-loving, punk-ass kamikaze that lives in my brain. I feel like I'm 'supposed to' quit. And I've always bristled under rules and regulations. I'm rebelling from my own desire to be healthier.
I need to find a way to make it OK for myself psychologically to quit drinking and smoking for good. Even though stories like the one my friend Max just shared are scary, I don't fear death for my own sake, but for my kids. I need something stronger to help break the spell.
It's going to feel strange having 'important talks' with Vince over ginger ale.
Dude, drinking is so mainstream. Not drinking is rebellious.
ReplyDeleteAlso, hooray for more people D&Ding.
Don't fear death, fear chemo.
ReplyDeleteDon't think my habits had much to do with my little friend, but soon i get to find out if smoking pot w tobacco for 10 years left any marks, have a CT scan booked to make sure they got it all with the operation, wondering if they might find something else! :P
Quit that habit cold late last year, stopped being fun a while ago, just a stupid crutch. I'd tried before but always let myself go back. Just didn't this time and after a few months felt so good not to i stopped having any urge to.